Harrowing. That’s the very first word that came to mind during and after reading Jennette McCurdy’s memoir. It’s also my first time trying an audiobook. I think it was a great choice. Hearing Jennette herself narrate her memoir added more power to an already poignant and powerful work.

I knew general details of the subject matter McCurdy writes about. Her dislike for, and toxic experiences with, acting. Her overbearing and abusive mother. While the subjects alone are compelling enough, the true strength of the memoir is how McCurdy writes about it. As a writer, she is bluntly honest and deadpan in voice, but it serves the memoir very well. Her willingness not to shy away from the unpleasant experiences in her life and earnestly reflect on them displays how far she has come in her healing. I have a lot of respect for her publishing a memoir, because she doesn’t owe anyone the details of her story. She could easily have kept her story to herself.

In my opinion, the biggest strength of this memoir is the way McCurdy shows how abuse by a parent can be interpreted by a child and later reinterpreted in hindsight when that child grows up. McCurdy was extremely devoted to her mother throughout her youth, despite her mother’s toxic behaviors. All through her story I kept thinking, “I know you perceive this as love, but it’s not! Your mom is abusing you!” It is not until years later, and with therapeutic help, that she is able to review her experiences and understand the toxicity that was actually underlying her mom’s “love” for her.
“I’m Glad My Mom Died” is a very important memoir, especially for understanding how cycles of abuse can play out without the victim understanding it as abuse. McCurdy had a trauma bond with her mother, but, as a child, she perceived it as simply a bond.

I appreciate the clarity with which McCurdy writes about her experiences. She strikes a fine balance in her prose. She does not shy away from ugly details, but nor does she revel in or sensationalize them. They are simply events in her life and the larger focus of her memoir is how she has worked through them to heal. The most important lesson I gleaned from “I’m Glad My Mom Died” is that cycles of abuse can be broken and there is always hope to heal.